Qualifications
by zfirze
Summary: "With this, I guarantee you a position anywhere you want, anytime you want," CRACK


soooo this was kind of born out of resume writing frustration, oops

anyway, hope this would not be too confusing? enjoy!

disclaimer: do not own Harry Potter

* * *

**QUALIFICATIONS**

* * *

"What do you mean you're applying for Eighth Year at Hogwarts?"

"Well, I, for one, think that Harry is making the right decision. Don't you know how important NEWTs are to our future career? This - "

"Bah! That's nonsense, 'Mione. Look mate, you're looking to join the Aurors right?"

"Er, well, yeah..."

"Okay, now hand me that parchment over there. No not the Hogwarts application, the blank one, yes that, thanks,"

"What exactly are you writing, Ronald Bilius Weasley? You better not put funny ideas into Harry's head,"

"Oh come on 'Mione, we all know that Harry doesn't need his NEWTs,"

"Er, Ron, I think it'll be good to finish my NEWTs. Not like anyone would want to hire someone who hasn't finished his education... well, unless you're Fr- George,"

"Exactly. Harry's absolutely right. Just because you don't want to study doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't,"

"Actually I rather not study as well,"

"Harry!"

"Alright, I'm done! Take a look. With this, I guarantee you a position anywhere you want, anytime you want,"

"What's this?"

* * *

**PERSONAL**

Name: Harry James Potter

Alias: The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, The Chosen One, Defeater of You-Know-Who _("Oh real mature, You-Know-Who," "Well, I can always change to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? I can't exactly write V-V-Voldemort, other people would trash it immediately," "Alternatively, you can write The Dark Lord," "Er guys? In the first place, I don't think this should be even included in whatever this is," "Why not? It's impressive,")_

Address: Unplottable _("Why did you even include this line when you knew it was Unplottable?" "Hey, that's not my fault, I wrote the actual address down," "Honestly Ronald, when a place is Unplottable, it generally means you won't be able to tell anyone the actual address," "Alright alright! Pass it over, mate. Okay there, done," "...that is one ugly patch of blotted ink," "Oh shut it, 'Mione")_

Age: 18 _("17 actually," "Minor details, Harry,")_

**JOB EXPERIENCE** _("What job experience, I have never worked," "Will you guys just continue reading without commenting on every single sentence!")_

**Defeater of The Dark Lord (1998 - Present)**

- Defeated The Dark Lord _("Isn't this kind of repetitive?" "Shush, 'Mione,")_

- Led the Battle of Hogwarts

- Master of the Deadly Hallows _("RON! This is a secret!" "Wha - alright alright! I'll just blot it right off. Well, this doesn't look as impressive anymore,")_

- Destroyed all of the Dark Lord's Horcruxes _("RON!" "Alright alright!")_

- Order of Merlin, First Class

- Freed the Muggleborns from the Muggleborn Registration Commission

- Rallied support from Hogwarts, Ministry of Magic and various magical creatures, including the giants _("That was Hagrid, mate,")_, the Acromantulas _("Hagrid again,")_, the centuars _("They'll kill you if they ever read this,")_, etc.

**The Boy-Who-Lived (1981 - Present)**

- The beacon of light for all wizardkind _("WHAT?!" "Oh, nicely put Ron," "Thanks, 'Mione,")_

- Freed the Wizarding World of the Dark Lord for 13 years

- Successfully broke into Gringotts and escaped via a dragon _("You're thinking to send this to the Ministry right? I doubt this would impress them,")_

**EDUCATION**

**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (1991 - 1997)**

- Quidditch Captain (Sixth Year)

- Youngest Seeker in over a century (First Year) _("Isn't this arranged in reverse chronological order?" "Yes, well, but 'Mione, this is Quidditch!")_

- Leader of Dumbledore's Army (Fifth Year)

- Taught defensive spells to Dumbledore's Army (Fifth Year)

- Broke into the Department of Mysteries (Fifth Year) _("I doubt this is going to impress them either,")_

- Winner of the Tri-Wizard Tournament (Fourth Year)

- Mastered the Patronus Charm (Third Year)

- Defeated a Basilisk (Second Year)

- Obtained the Sword of Gryffindor (Second Year)

- Protected the Philosopher's Stone from Quirrel/The Dark Lord (First Year)

- Defeated a troll (First Year)

**Muggle School (unknown - 1991)**

- Attended classes _("Smart Ron, real smart," "Yeah? I thought so too," "Er mate, I think Hermione was being sarcastic" "Oh,")_

**OTHERS**

- Able to speak English and Parseltongue _("Honestly Ronald," "What?" "Besides, I kind of lost that ability," "What!")_

- Returned from the dead _("RON!")_

- Ability to love _("Ew, just ew,")_

* * *

"This is kind of messy, mate. Er well, I'll just get on with that Eighth Year Application..."

"...well, you know what Ronald, this does actually look impressive. Maybe he doesn't need his NEWTs after all,"

"What, _Hermione_?!"

"See mate, what did I tell you?"


End file.
